I am not exactly sure where I even want to begin this blog post, so I will begin it where I think is best to start. I will just come right out and say it because I know we have all been thinking it: There is way too much violence, negativity and hatred occurring not only in America, but all throughout the world. In my opinion, if there was a God, He would not allow these types of things (take school shootings for instance, to occur.)
So, this is the reason why I did what I call a social media cleanse recently. I started by deleting my Facebook and Snapchat accounts. I never had Twitter in the first place because I didn't care too much for it. With that being said, the point I am trying to make is that I feel so much better now that all the violence, negativity and hatred is out of my head. I do realize I concerned some people from going off of social media for a long time. However, my cleanse made me feel more connected with my family and close friends and in tune/sync with the world.
I would take in the world for what it is and take advantage of the littlest moments that I will never be able to get back, because once a moment happens, it's gone forever. If you are feeling this way too, I highly recommend doing a cleanse yourself as well!
Each and every one of us has an identity. I'm not exactly sure if we are born with an identity or if it develops later on in life. For the past nineteen years, I have been known as Breana Allen. I was raised by my parents who are both hardworking people and want success for my younger brother, Devon and I. Around the time I was sixteen years old, I had an identity crisis. Well, maybe crisis isn't the best way to put it. To put things in a nutshell, I was confused with who I was as a person. So far in my life, I have only had one boyfriend and that was a long distance relationship. While we broke up he explained to me how I can better myself as a person and improve myself. I did just that.
While I was experiencing my identity crisis, I wanted to change everything about myself. This wasn't because I hated myself. I was ready to reinvent myself and be a whole different person. I cut my hair off (not completely, it was a pixie cut) and was set on changing my name to something different. That name was Skyler. I was tired of not being able to find a key ring with my name on it at souvenir shops. The reason I liked the name Skyler is because I have always been fascinated with our solar system and the way it works. I guess if I changed my name to Skyler maybe I would be viewed differently if that makes sense. Of course I would still be the same person, but in a sense I wouldn't.
What helped me get out of this crisis was realizing that someday when I have children of my own, I will be able to name them whatever I want (with my future husband's consent of course.) We all go through our own phases throughout life and I guess this was by far, the most interesting one for me.
Black History Month
February is black history month. For those of you that do not know, I am biracial meaning that one of my parents is white and the other is black. In my case, my Mom is white and my biological Dad that didn't stick around is black. For the nineteen years I've been alive I've never really taken the time to stop and pause and think about a month dedicated primarily to people like me. Even though being black is only half of my identity, this month means a lot to me. Black history month to me means celebrating freedom, prejudice, racial stereotypes, segregation and continuing to put racism towards the people including myself that make up the black community to an end.
I have never experienced racism first hand. However, in kindergarten a girl asked me "What are you?" I didn't understand what she meant until I went home and asked my Mom who told me she was talking about my race. I do not know still to this day if that girl was curious about my race or if she wanted to make fun of me and mock me for not being one race: black or white and I'll never know because I stopped talking to her in fear of being bullied and being discriminated against. Black people are just like white people: we go on to lead and live successful lives and contribute to society in endless multiple ways that cannot even begin to be explained.
The Dad that raised me was in the army for most of my life and he was not dedicated to one career. Before I get ahead of myself, the Dad that raised and is still raising me is black. He worked multiple jobs in the army which taught not only him many work ethics but also my younger brother and I work ethics that has been applied to our school work. He is not by any means lazy or a noncontributing member to society. In fact, he is my hero because I have learned the majority of my work ethics from him. This is my little piece about black history month! Feel free to leave any comments or feedback on this blog post!
Today: Monday, January 1st, 2018 is the debut of my blog, Breana Blogs! My posts will be regularly uploaded to the poetry page on the first of every month at 11:30 A.M. Pacific Standard Time. This project began in 2013 when I was a freshman in high school. I did not start writing poems for this blog until my sophomore year of high school. Today I am a freshman in community college and am extremely proud to share the poems and short stories I wrote throughout high school! In addition, there are new poems I have written during my first year of community college and I plan to continue writing more poems so that there will be a lot of content on my blog. Breana Blogs has been a work in progress and took a whole lot of editing and advice from my mom on how the poems should sound and feel because I wanted them to move not only myself but also the people reading them. There were plenty of times I went back to the drawing board (my journal and laptop) and would edit or start a poem over if I did not like the way it sounded in my head or when I read it out loud to myself. I hope everyone enjoys Breana Blogs!